musical blasphemy

he fucking made me like a kelly clarkson song. what more can i say?

get it:

Girl Talk- Feeding the Animals

just as a side note...

So, while I was waiting for The Breeders to go on last night, I was talking to my fellow music snobs about the phenomenon of Joanna Newsom and her creepy music that tricks people into thinking it's good. I had a short spell of curiosity about Ms. Newsom when I was trying to figure out whether she was a musical genius that no one could understand, or simply an elf alien who pretends to have talent. I landed on the side of elf alien for several reasons:

(1) She obviously looks like an elf:

(2) Her alien music is really not as inventive, new, or... well good, as many critics claim her to be. Clearly she has hypnotized musical masses into accepting her "music" into their lives. I mean, just look at the people who collaborated on her newest album:
-Van Dyke Parks: Arranged music for the Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys
-Steve Albini: A member of Shellac, who I believe many of my more musically respectable friends are obsessed with
- Jim O'Rourke: Who has collaborated with the likes of musical genius Thurston Moore

I hereby urge you to avoid Joanna Newsom at all costs... apparently her music makes normally sane indivduals think that her harp-plucking is actually... worth while (shudder).

omfg!!

more details to come, assisted by pictorial evidence, but i just saw the Breeders, and was literally in the fucking 2nd row, and at some point Kim was doing a solo, and fucking Kelley fucking tapped me on the shoulder and said "excuse me, i just want to get this on video"

OMFG

OMFG

OMG

OMG

OMG

fangirl annoyingness. HOLY FUCKING SHIT KELLEY DEAL FUCKING TOUCHED ME!!!!

!

p.s. the show was fucking AWESOME

heat waves spread.

I've been known as a "hot head" from time to time. Now don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of drunken spats with strangers in the street (I'm a winner) that resulted in me... not remembering for the life of me what the hell I was yelling about. Once my friend's man-friend and his friend had to literally pick me up and carry me away from the buffoons who said something durogatory about my best friend. Clearly they had it coming, and the situation lead to a fabulous story to tell people when I feel like talking about my "crazy days." But, seriously, I was young(er) and I've calmed down quite a bit.

Except for when it comes to my academics or my work. Seriously, do not fuck with me, or I will be all over you like a fat kid on ding dongs. So here's my little PSA to assist my enragement at certain aspects of my recently-graduated-from MPH. Higher education can be quite the catch-22-- and I can comment on this since my father has more degrees than I can count, and is a professor himself. Lots of "highly-educated scholars" are cocky assholes who will never admit that they're wrong. If they're ever proven to be wrong, then they punish people for exposing that, and reduce the likelihood that said whistleblower will ever make it in the academic world. Therefore, the only people who make it in the academic world are mealy-mouthed little pricks who won't speak up when they see something that is CLEARLY and obviously stupid and completely anti-thetical to everything they're being taught in their higher education. Therefore, it's just more likely that the people who are teaching those who end up "highly educated" are taught by those who are (1) less intelligent; (2) have less backbone; (3) should have been eliminated from the evolutionary pool about 300 years ago-- poster children for pro-choice, as my high school AP-Biology teacher would have said.

In sum, I'm pissed and the two pricks I'm dealing with at the school that is not to be named (but it's the only public health school in DC) can suck my hypothetical dick.

End scene.

Seriously.

we're havin' a heat waaave, a tropical heat wave....

it's been a long time coming for a new post, and lots has happened. clearly, i need to turn this into more of a habit, than a hobby. see, first i was going to talk about this awesome community in nyc that grows their own veggies right in the middle of the city... i mean, how cool is that? and THEN poor ted kennedy got diagnosed with brain cancer the same day... so talking about vegetables seemed silly, so i planned on talking about ted. but then i got side tracked, and sex and the city the movie happened, and so you think you can dance started and now there's just entirely too much to talk about.


luckily a heat wave moved through dc and between brunch mimosas and the walk home, i think i've killed all of my brain cells. i spent 75% of the day doing everything i could to not allow any skin to touch skin. that means i was laying on my couch watching sex and the city with my roommate.


glorious.


moral of the story is that all i have to report is that it's fucking hot and humid outside. i also REALLY need to start packing...

i <3 ny

This weekend was my beginning to saying adieu to the northeast for the next four years (tears will ensue...). I visited my lovely friend for an awesome weekend of Fleet Week debauchery. Historically, Fleet Week has been much larger, with hot sailors in tight pants all over NYC. This year, sadly, our dear fuck of a president has ruined, yet another thing-- only 3,000 sailors this year. And that doesn't even account for sailors that might be in pesky "relationships" OR "boring." So, there were many sailors to see, but not many to have inappropriate dealings with.... ohh the sadness. BUT, not to worry: the weekend continued with or without the sailors. 

1) We went for brunch with unlimited champagne at Nero's. Let me just tell you: give two semi-lushes unlimited access to champagne and a few scraps of food and you have a good fucking time. Follow that with pedicures in mid-town (we were clearly drunk if we were hanging out in mid-town at any place other than Bamboo 52) and perfect eye brows at the Anastasia salon at the Times Square Sephora, and you have a good fuckin' time. Of course we felt the need to CONTINUE drinking champagne once we got home at 5:30 pm... so that lead to a way early night. I know: lame, but you have to give us the credit of drinking champagne for a good 8 hours straight at break-neck speed. 

2) Of course we went back to Bamboo 52. Awesome bartender who happens to be family friend + adorable gay boys = fantastic time. This was after the 8 hours of champagne, so we lasted a good 45 minutes before calling it a night. 

3) Sunday was when the weekend really picked up-- ladies, a word of advice, Joshua Tree. It is a shit show and a half, and fucking fabulous. That's all I can say: a lady never kisses and tells. and yes, I AM a lady; even if I do drink bottles of champagne during the day. 

Monday night it was back to dirty DC. Though, I'm kind of glad to be here. Only a month and a half left. I have a lot of debauchery to catch up on here...

hangin with queen helene and burt's bees

i have just spent my evening in the most glorious way. it involved pajamas, ugly betty reruns from fanpop.com, hanging out in my fluffly bed with my roommate's cat, and lots of girly beauty time. abso-fuckin-lutely glorious. i haven't had an evening of pure relaxation in at least six months. nights taken off were typically reserved for my mini-benders of my psychotic last semester in grad school. oh, benders... don't you think i'll be leaving those behind any time soon...

in any case, i've been watching LOTS of ugly betty. some how the fact that i freaking watch TV for a living right now isn't enough, and i have to spend hours upon hours of my time watching new shows online or on actual tv. this leads to many many marathons. Work Out marathon? I'm there. free episodes online? I'm doubly there-- and will knock that season out in less than a week. I clearly have a sickness. to get to the point, ugly betty is adorable, and perfect to balance out all of the earthquakes and floods and wars and (blech) conservatives i read about in my other obsession... the news. 

(you would think from reading this that i'm 50 pounds over weight and spend my days in a recliner munching on cookie dough with my laptop and the tv... i promise, the situation isn't nearly that bad) 

soon i'll be moving on to a book obsession. there's an awesome, trendy little bookstore in dupont circle with employees that remind me of austin, and on good days remind me that boys with tattoos are really yummy. they have a superb selection of trendy up and coming books that are talked about all over the new york times, AND cater to not only the very small hipster crowd of dc and simultaneously to the yuppies. this little mecca of pretty people who like to act like their smart is just around the corner from my office, and will lend itself to many visits from me in these next two months before i leave dc. 

can. not. freakin. wait.

now back to more ugly betty and burt's bees' coconut foot creme. walking 6 miles a day does a number on your feet...

more to come...

After a painful 45 credits, this little lady can legitimately put that MPH after her name (even though I haven't exactly gotten all of my grades back yet... if I end up having to fight for any of them, these people won't know what hit them) as of 11 am last Friday morning. This clearly called for many celebrations and libations this weekend, and for the visit of my crazy and inappropriately hott friend from NYC. Now that I have drunk my weight twice, had overly-testosterone-filled boys chanting my name to get me to take tequila shots, and had my fair share of BOTH Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker (any guesses on my favorite liquor?), it's time to get down to business. I will be spending the next 2 months watching tv, shopping, going to happy hour, brunching, having dance-your-pants-off nights (sometimes quite literally-- that's when it's EXTRA fun), working out to get this cookie dough-ass somewhat in shape... and... well working full time... but that's the boring part. Here starts the fun, kids, and DAMN am I excited about it!

Commencement is this Saturday. I have to wear stupid regalia, but underneath it i'll have a super-fuckin-cute dress on... that i'll hopefully purchase this evening. And of course, fabulous shoes to match. Don't worry, you will all be let in on how cute they both really are. In the mean while it's cleaning and preping for the parent's visit.

Don't worry, this is going to get sooo much less boring in a few days...

long, long, long

I'm about a hair away from being done with this stupid degree. Let me rephrase that, since I'll be paying for said stupid degree until I'm on social security: In 4 short days I will be able to add three little letters to my name: M-P-H. All I have left is one measly little 15 minute presentation... for which I will have to be awake... and thinking. Now, normally that would not be a difficult feat, but seeing as that I am already taking part in my ceremonial brain drain that follows every ridiculous semester I have... it might be problematic. All I want is to watch Work Out marathons and beautify. Only 3 more days and I'll be there. In the mean while, more Work Out, less thinking... some work... some presentation (booooooo)

so begins a new era...

As I transition to writing 150 pages per semester for a masters degree, to writing... well.. nothing for an MD, I've decided to re-join the world of blogging. I haven't blogged since I was a freshman undergrad and did it to try to follow a boy (I know: staaaallkkeeerr, and super-pathetic, but give me a break, I was 18), so this might be a bit of a rocky start. I am excessively opinionated, so I would say that I'm a perfect match for the blog world. Plus, talking to walls is always fun until someone stumbles upon this thing and decides to actually read my insanity. 

In any case, welcome to my ramblings. It should be a fun adventure.